Lenja Kaufmann – Womenize! – Inspiring Stories
Womenize! – Inspiring Stories is our weekly series featuring inspirational individuals from games and tech. For this edition, we talked to Lenja Kaufmann, Solo Developer & Founder of Findling Games. She speaks about how solo travel taught her that true independence includes knowing when to rely on others, how embracing uncertainty and taking imperfect first steps led her to create WATERFUL, and why her definition of success is ultimately making a game she is proud of rather than chasing external validation. Read more about Lenja here:
Hi Lenja! Before founding Findling Games and starting work on WATERFUL, you spent one and a half years traveling solo through 14 countries in a self-converted camper. Looking back, what did that journey teach you about uncertainty, independence, and trusting yourself and how do those lessons influence the way you build games and make decisions today?
I’ve honestly always been very independent and self-reliant, and I used to take pride in that. I presume you have to be, to a certain extent, if you convert your own camper van, move into it to live for a couple of years, and then set out with it to travel open-ended. That uncertainty and self-reliance of traveling was always what appealed to me most. I tried to plan as little as possible so I could do what I wanted in the moment. That’s also why I did it alone, so I wouldn’t have to adjust to other people’s plans and expectations. I was constantly doing that and struggling with it when being around people. As crazy as it sounds, setting out alone felt less scary to me than being around people for too long. I only saw the advantages of being alone.
So I was traveling, finally free and happy to be completely on my own. But I soon learned the disadvantages and dangers of being alone; I got my van thoroughly stuck in sand and snow and had to get over myself to ask for help. I got harassed by men and attacked by stray dogs that I would have been able to fend off much better had I not been alone. And I got extremely sick for a week out in the middle of nowhere, and only by sheer luck did I have enough water with me to make it through. But the biggest one was that I started to feel lonely, for the first time in my life, and I realized I did in fact need and want people around, and that it’s necessary and good to ask for help.
So I came back and was just the happiest person being around my friends again. I had gained a tremendous appreciation for the safety of living in Germany, in a stable situation again. Don’t get me wrong, I still loved my trip and don’t regret a thing, but I’d kind of played that level to the end and was ready for something entirely different. So to summarize: I learned that safety is actually something great, and that being too independent is dangerous and doesn’t make me happy. I still trusted myself, but learning to trust others and ask for help too is extremely important, and always worth it.
So even though I’m solo-developing now, I’m part of a community of students, indie developers, and professors at DE:HIVE, and the wider Berlin game dev scene. I could NEVER have achieved everything I have so far without their help, feedback, advice, and companionship. I’m very fortunate to have an office at the university (thanks to the master’s program), and I always have people around who are happy to help. Without my experience of trying to go it fully alone on my trip, I don’t think I would have tried so hard to find my place here, or been able to appreciate it the way I do.
And yes, that trip absolutely inspired WATERFUL too! While traveling through Türkiye, Georgia, and Spain, I fell in love with dry landscapes and the magic of a small body of water creating bustling life seemingly out of nowhere. I tried to make a game that lets players experience some of that magic.
Many people dream of creating something entirely their own, but few take the leap. You recently announced your first solo title while still pursuing your master’s degree. What fears, doubts, or internal obstacles have you had to overcome to get to this point, and what would you say to someone who is waiting for the “right moment” to start pursuing their own vision?
I For me, this was also a dream I’d carried for a long time. But I’d postponed it for the van trip. Once I’d thoroughly lived that dream (and, quite frankly, had enough of it) starting my own game felt, in my mind, like simply the next step. I also genuinely thought it was the “right moment,” because I expected it would be too hard to leave a safe job once I’d found one. That was shortly before the layoffs, so the argument doesn’t hold up quite as well now, but at the time it helped me commit to the plan.
I’d learned my lesson from the trip that being entirely on my own is hard, so at first I tried to find a team through the Game Design Master’s program at HTW Berlin. I enrolled there because it’s a great, supportive environment for making a game and finding teammates. I did find three wonderful teammates, and we actually came up with the idea for WATERFUL together. But after a semester of working together, we realized we weren’t such a great fit after all, and we split up.At that point, I didn’t want to go through the process of finding new teammates I had no experience working with again. I’d grown attached to our little game idea, though, and I really wanted to make my own version of it. I wasn’t sure I could do it alone, but I loved the idea too much not to try. So I rebuilt the whole thing from the ground up, and by the time I received state funding from Medienboard Berlin-Brandenburg, I believed I could somehow make it work.
As for advice – honestly, if I’d known the amount of work and discomfort that awaited me (and still does), doing so many things I’d never done before, I’m not sure I would have taken the leap. I think that’s true of my van trip too. But I don’t regret doing either. So maybe embrace being a little naive, and don’t try to over-prepare. You can’t prepare for things you know nothing about anyway. Just take the first step, then the next, and you’ll solve problems as they come up. You’ll learn everything you need because you’ll have to, and that’s the fastest way to learn anyway. Oh, and pursuing your own vision doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for help or look at how others have done it. Take any help you can get, and don’t doubt yourself when you’re struggling. This stuff is hard!
Right now, your story is still unfolding. WATERFUL has been announced, but the outcome is unknown and that’s a place many people find uncomfortable. How do you stay motivated and connected to your vision when success isn’t guaranteed yet, and what does success personally mean to you at this stage of your journey?
Like the first time I had doubts, when my original team split up, it’s really the game that carries me. I simply love working on it, and I want it to exist and be the best version I can make. I feel extremely lucky in that regard, that I found a game I believe in and enjoy working on over a long stretch of time. It feels like a rare kind of magic, and I try to appreciate every moment of it.
The announcement went pretty well, and it’s great to hear people like the idea of the game. People say, “You must be so relieved now!”. But honestly, that just increases the pressure for me. Before, failing would have been painful, of course, but not really a loss. Even just finishing a game on my own would be a huge win in my book.
But now I have momentum I could lose, a chance I don’t want to squander. It’s that same need of mine to live up to people’s expectations that gets me. I’m starting to believe that in these things, you never feel fully secure, no matter how many times you think, “Oh, but once I reach THAT point, I’ll be fine and finally feel safe.”
That’s why I like your question about what success means to me at this point. I defined my most important goal very early on, and I try hard not to let the process pull my focus away from it: I want to make and finish a game I’m happy with. One that makes people smile, brings them comfort, and carries some of my values, however small. That feels way more achievable. So I try to focus on that. Of course, I still do everything around it to try to reach as many people as possible and hopefully sell it, so I can keep doing what I do. But I try to focus on what I want the game to be first and if all else fails, I’ll still have my win in having made a game I can be proud of.